Best Of…February – And The Winner Is…

•February 28, 2010 • 2 Comments

…”Turn Around Bright Eyes”…the tail of me sharing my love of Bonnie Tyler’s timeless classic Total Eclipse Of The Heart…and my lack of ability to properly use the mute button on my phone at work while on a conference call.  Second place went to “Gardening Is Good For the Soul”… chronicling my beginning adventures into gardening / landscaping…and the peaceful effect is has on my fragile psyche.  Thanks again to everyone who took the time to vote for your favorite post.

Speaking of gardening and landscaping; as I spend more and more time outside working in my yard, I find myself wondering if it’s ok to name your plants…or would that be crossing the line between being eccentric and just plan nuts.  I’m not saying I named the three I planted last weekend Huey, Dewey, and Louie, but if I had…would it make me crazy?

“I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.” 

– Anonymous

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Best Of…February

•February 25, 2010 • 3 Comments

Wow, the month of February went by really fast!  I know it has less days then all the other months…but still…February just flew by.  Since it’s the end of the month, I’m once again asking for votes for your favorite post.  For January, I had a pretty good idea my epic battle with Double B was going to take it (even though it was not my personal favorite)…but this month…I really don’t know.  They were all fun to write…even if somewhat humiliating…(yeah, I’m looking at you “A Fine Physical Specimen I Am”…).

A friend of mine told me that if I ever want a sugar mama I’m going to need to start highlighting my attractive qualities in my posts…so maybe I will focus on portraying myself in a more positive light in March.  I will give it a shot, but I fear I won’t have much to write about.  I mean, making fun of myself is easy…and there seems to be an endless supply of material.  Besides…if I’m going to get a sugar mama to fall for me…she is going to need to fall for all my faults as well…not only because they make us who we are…but also because there are a lot!

Here are posts up for “best of” for February.

Gardening Is Good For The Soul…

•February 23, 2010 • 1 Comment

I have had a lot on my mind lately…career, life, love, the usual stuff most 35 year old single guys find themselves thinking about.  Since I can’t find anyone to play tennis with me…and I’m too damn old to play soccer anymore, I’m finding it difficult to be what you would call an “exerciser”.  So, I needed to find another outlet…something to allow my thoughts to drift and just turn my brain off for a while.  What I didn’t expect…was that something would turn out to be gardening. 

Maybe it’s the mind numbing task of pulling weeds, or the physical labor of moving heavy rocks and shoveling dirt, but for some reason, my head is always clearer and I feel much better after several hours of gardening.  I am definitely a beginner gardner…I bought gardening for dummies to help get me started and make sure I don’t hurt myself in planting and landscaping endeavors.  I tell my friends I have started gardening and they laugh and say something about how I’m turning into and old man.  As true as that may be, I’m actually really enjoying it…and I’m starting to accomplish quite a lot. 

This weekend I planted a hedge and two rhododendrons and laid river rock around them with some bigger decorative rocks along the side of my house.  I also mowed my yard in the middle of freaking February, which was a little creepy because…well…it’s the middle of freaking February.  I’m quite happy with how everything turned out.  Standing in my yard, holding a shovel with dirty hands, I was no longer consumed by thoughts of the job I don’t have, a life I don’t lead, or the girl I can’t be with.  Maybe that is the thing about gardening…you put a little bit of effort and time into it…and then you can look at your work and say “I did that”…and everything else just fades away.   

Nothing gives you a real sense of accomplishment like working in your yard all day…even if you were singing Bad Romance by Lady Gaga, loud enough for your neighbors to look at you funny as they walk by.

“A garden is never so good as it will be next year”

– Thomas Cooper

Somebody Saaavvveee Me! Guilty Pleasures…#2

•February 18, 2010 • 1 Comment

For some strange reason, I have an affinity to teenage drama tv shows (what?…you don’t know me…don’t judge!).  To list some examples: Gilmore Girls – I own the first 4 seasons on DVD, Dawson’s Creak – I was sooooo glad Joey picked Pacey over Dawson…you have no idea, Buffy – I know all the songs from the musical episode, Once More With Feeling, by heart, and last but not least, Smallville – which I DVR religiously every Friday night so I can watch it while I’m hung over Saturday morning.  Why on earth would I watch a tv show based on events of a young Superman’s drama filled life?  I will tell you why… Allison Mack, who plays the ever so lovable Chloe Sullivan!

A large percentage of the time, the episodes of Smallville are not that great; you have your standard meteor induced freak that the superhero crew needs to put the smack down on…and then sometimes there are some really outstanding episodes…usally involving someone of import dying (Smallville does funeral scenes really well).  Also, the two main villains, Lex and Lionel Luther were both awesome, but no longer on the show.  But Allison, god bless her and everything she stands for, is the real reason I, and most other 25-35 year old guys who view this fine program (and yes, there are a lot) tune in. 

Allison’s character, Chloe, is every dork boy’s dream girl.  She is smart, up to date on current dork culture, really cute, but not so cute that you don’t think you have a shot with her, and you know she is down with drinking a bottle of wine and getting in a heated debate over what movie represents John Cusack’s finest work… (Say Anything). Yup…she is just about perfect.  I don’t know much about Allison herself, but I like to think she is just as cool as Chloe.     

Chloe always gets the shaft (proverbially) in Smallville.  She spends the first 7 seasons being in love with Superjerk (cool band name) and when she finally moves on and marries another dude, he gets killed by some rock freak while saving her life…I mean come on!   The man of steel (and bad taste in women) does not know what he is missing…and while he may be to busy trying to impress Lois “dirty tramp” Lane, I have all the time in the world for you Chloe…you can count on me! 

If I ever actually met Allison Mack…I’m confident she would ask me for my e-mail address and phone number after I impress her with my deep understand of all things Smallville.  I’m also quite sure she would find my growing bald spot, buddha belly, and firm grip on reality attractive.

 “It’s like fate…inevitable, but always surprising when it happens.”

– Chloe Sullivan – Smallville

A Fine Physical Specimen I Am…

•February 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

You know you are out of shape when you pull something getting up from the couch…which may or may not of happened to me this evening.  I remember, not all that long ago, when I was playing soccer and tennis regularly…and in good enough shape to sprint a considerable distance without getting too winded.  Now I need to catch my breath after walking up two flights of stairs.

My spirit may be bent…but it’s not broken.  Below is my 3 point plan to getting into better shape.

  1. Stop eating peanut butter M&M’s for breakfast – I’m no nutritionist…but I’m pretty sure they are not part of a balanced and healthy diet
  2. Get more exercise – I’m not saying I’m lazy…but I would rather walk around the entire house looking for the remote control then walk 5 feet from my sofa to the big screen to change the channel by hand (more exercise in the short run…far more sitting on my lazy butt in the long run)
  3. Recognize that just because a food falls in several food groups (or just one for that matter), does not mean it is healthy – If you break it down enough, pizza sounds really good for you

I’m supremely confident in my ability to follow these 3 steps and turn myself into a well rounded, and less round, healthy individual.  Well, 2 out of the 3 steps anyway, I really do love peanut butter M&M’s.

“I have found that there is only one way to look thin, hang out with fat people.”

– Rodney Dangerfield

Love Actually – Valentines Day Sucks…Most Of The Time…

•February 15, 2010 • 1 Comment

I’m normally not a big fan of Valentines Day…maybe it’s because I’m not in a position to be.  I think its fare to say I spend about 50% of my day being hopelessly jaded to love and completely closed to the whole idea of it…and the other 50% being a hopeless romantic, confident that true love does exist, and a pretty girl is out there somewhere…just waiting for me to find her.  Get a couple of drinks in me and my position on the matter of love becomes even more confusing.  In an effort to not be a complete loser and spend Valentines Day alone, I hung out with a girlfriend of mine and watched the best romantic comedy ever…Love Actually.  This movie appeals to me because we get to see so many aspects and stories of love…each with their own twists and turns…and not all of them having happy endings.  My date for the evening asked me which of the stories was my favorite…and, of course, I was conflicted. 

The hopeless romantic in me loves the story of the writer, Jamie, and his assistant/house maid, Aurelia, who come from two different worlds and speak two different languages… but somehow find a way to communicate in the universal language that needs no translation…the language of love.  This is probably the most unrealistic story of the movie…but that does not make any less sweet or enjoyable. 

I mean, who wouldn’t want to get away from a bad situation involving your girlfriend and brother, rent a nice cozy house on a lake to do some writing and mend a broken heart, and then find the girl of your dreams…who, as luck would have it, does not speak a lick of your native tongue.  For some of us not very clever with words or who are easily flustered by pretty people of the opposite sex, this may be a good thing.  You can’t help but cheer as he asks her to marry him in Portuguese and she answers him in English….sooooo sweet.  I think it’s telling that this is one of the two stories that the movie ends on…because it appeals to the hopeless romantic in all of us.

The bitter, jaded, love sucks, side of me, can’t help but find an attachment to the story of Juliet, the pretty ingénue, and Mark, the best friend of her new husband, who happens to be madly in love with her.  She is not yet wise to his feelings in the beginning of the movie and both her and her husband think Mark just does not like her very much.  Clearly they both need to get their love dial recalibrated because our boy Mark is head over heals…and in deep deep smit with Juliet. 

In one of my favorite scenes, Juliet comes over to borrow Marks wedding video…with a gift of pie as a piece offering to win him over.  Little does she know, he has already been won over, and then some.  As she starts to watch the video…the viewer bares witness to two things…Juliet’s realization that Mark is completely and utterly in love with her…and Mark’s heart breaking as she comes to this realization.  “You don’t like me!” she says with confusion.  “It’s a… self-preservation thing, you see.” he replies.  He knows, she knows, and there is not a damn thing they can do about it.  They share the sweet “sign” moment later in the movie…and she gives him a “if only things were different…but they are not” kiss…and he comes to terms with his unrequited love saying…”enough…enough now.”  It’s real, it’s honest, and I love it.

On a side note, Natalie, the Prime Ministers girlfriend (and the actress who plays her)…is my dream girl.  Yes sir, she is all different kinds of awesome.  Valentines Day, normally day of complete suck, was relatively bearable this year…thanks Love Actually!

“But you know, the thing about romance is… people only get together right at the very end.”

Sam – Love Actually

Audience Of One – Favorite Song On The Radio Right Now…

•February 13, 2010 • 1 Comment

I love it when a song sneaks up on you.  Sometimes the sneaking will take several listens before it can take hold…other times, a song will grab you after just one…and not let go.  I heard Cold War Kids Audience on the radio on my way home from work last week.  When the song first came on…I was distracted by thoughts about work, life, love…but by the end I was hooked.  Not really knowing all the words, I was trying to sing along… moving my head and using my steering wheel as a drum kit…tapping away to a rhythm that didn’t really give me a choice.  It’s simple, it’s invasive, and it’s fantastic…because it makes me look back on all my favorite memories of playing my guitar…and I was always playing for an audicence of one. 

“The most important part of my religion is to play guitar. ”

– Lou Reed