Reality Television Sucks My Will To Live

Back in 2000, there was not much “reality” on tv – “The Real World” and “Road Rules” were pretty much the cream of the crop at the time. Then, like a bad case of jock itch that you just didn’t see coming, Survivor hits the airwaves and TV programming would be forever changed. Survivor, much to my chagrin, was a huge ratings hit; everyone was talking about it and everyone wanted to be on it. Meanwhile, I was left behind…stuck with a decade of my favorite TV shows being shit canned so America could watch more “What Ho Wants To Marry A Complete Jackass Stranger On National TV “.

Now, 10 years later, we have every kind of reality TV show we could ever want – “The Real Housewives of Orange County”…which seems to be about the wives of rich men spending a bunch of money and making asses of themselves. “My Super Sweet 16″…which seems to be about the daughters of rich men spending a bunch of money on their 16th birthdays, and making asses of themselves. “Extreme Makeover” were they take supposed ugly people and make them pretty…and “I Get That A Lot”…were they take supposed pretty people and make them ugly. In the mean time, outstanding shows like Studio 60, Pushing Daisies, and Wonderfalls get treated like second class TV…and because I’m not a reality TV fan… I get treated like a second class TV viewer.

Well network TV execs…to you I say this – I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore! That’s right…no longer will I sit around and watch the pointless garbage you try and force down…oh wait…”Lost” is coming back in February…damn…I can’t miss that. Oh, and “How I Met Your Mother” is still on…so I will need to continue to watch that as well. Ok, other then those two shows, you network execs can kiss my sorry ass…I will not be treated like…oh hold on…I just started getting into “Criminal Minds”…it’s like CSI only they focus on WHY the crazy wacked out people commit crimes instead of HOW…it’s pretty awesome. And while I’m at it, “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelpha may be the funniest show on TV.

Ok fine…you’ve got me trapped in your web of lies and addicting TV deceit. Sometimes I think you create good TV shows just bait and switch me…get me hooked to your network by airing a couple of episodes Firefly…then pull it off the air without warning and play the season premier of American Idol for the 4th time….bastards.

I will still watch TV…but I will do so in silent protest…just waiting for the day you no longer broadcast TV shows I have even a remote interest in viewing… then I will have my revenge. Oh yes, I will cancel my cable subscription and turn to books and the internet for all my entertainment needs…it will be glorious. Just you wait and see…you will rue the day you messed with me. Until then, I’m so stoked for “Lost” to come back I can hardly stand it!

I’m still not going to watch reality TV though…you network execs can lick my balls on that.