My Kingdom For A Good Joke…

Many years ago…I had a crazy girlfriend who would always want me to tell her a joke.  Every time we hung out, inevitably, she would say the words “tell me a joke” and god help me if I didn’t have one at the ready.  “How do you expect to keep me around if you can’t make me laugh” she would say with just enough of an edge that I couldn’t tell if she was the one telling me the joke.   So, to play it safe because she was really pretty, the 9 months we were together I was always fishing for new jokes or one liners to share with her because however funny she deemed my jokes to be would be directly proportional to how much action I could expect to get that night. Yeah, we had a very strange relationship. 

I can only remember two of the jokes I used to try to advance my “Corey Needs Some Love” cause (which was a very important cause to me at the time…circa 1995).  One joke was so bad it made her say “that sucked Corey, you need to try harder…and you can keep your hands to yourself tonight”.  So, that evening, I was stuck in barren desert devoid of any loving thanks to a lame joke that I will share another time.  The other joke I remember made her laugh enough to let me pick the movie we would be watching that night, which was a pretty big deal because I never got to pick the movie, and it allowed me to reach the proverbial promise land.  At the time, I was thinking…’this is the best joke ever!’  In case you were wondering, I picked the classic film, The Usual Suspects staring Kevin Spacey, Gabriel Byrne, and Chazz Palminteri.  It was and still is an awesome movie…she hated it.  I should have known then it was never going to work. 

Why am I telling sharing this information?  Well, a friend of mine recently asked me to tell her a joke.  I immediately flashed back to my ex and all the good things that happened for me using the joke that made her laugh.  So, me being the smart man that I am, I chose to recycle said ‘best joke ever’ to see if it would get me anywhere with my pretty new friend.  The joke is as follows: 

How can you tell Ronald McDonald on a nude beach?  He is the one with the sesame seed buns.  

Yeah…my pretty new friend didn’t laugh either.  I had to keep my hands to myself that night AND I didn’t get to pick the movie.  Clearly humor is subjective…and clearly I need new material.

” A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.” 

– T.S. Eliot

~ by coreysays on March 18, 2010.

One Response to “My Kingdom For A Good Joke…”

  1. Seriously, you may just need new friends. That joke was hilarious. Of course I like cheesy jokes.

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