Cholesterol Sucks…

I went to my doctor not to long ago to get a full check up…and make sure I’m not dying of anything I don’t know about.  She asked me a bunch of questions about my eating habits, my level of sexual promiscuity, poked me with some needles, and felt around in the land down under and asked me to cough (what is that all about anyway?).  As she was typing up her notes, I noticed she wrote…‘Corey is a 35 year old, well nourished male’.  Not sure what that meant I say…”Well nurished…are you calling me fat?”  She laughed and said “no, you are just well nurished…you are not undernourished”.  I replied “well why didn’t you just type I’m not undernurished”…she laughed some more and kept typing.  I could tell by the way she looked at me the rest of the visit that her new nickname for me would be “tubby”…even if she doesn’t say it…I know she is thinking it.

All in all it went pretty well and I left feeling like a relatively healthy, well nourished, 35 year old man.  And it turns out, I was right…well mostly right.  In my follow up appointment, my doctor informed me that every test came back clean and within normal ranges…except for one.  Apparently there is such a thing as “triglycerides”…my doctor assured me it’s not a made up word despite my protests to the contrary.   She told me it has something to do with cholesterol and there is a “healthy range” for your triglycerides to fall in…which is 40-249.  Now I have never been an over achiver…but it seems that triglycerides is one area were I excel because mine came in at an outstanding 270.  After saying “woo whoo” and doing the “raise the roof dance”, my doctor informed me that “go big or go home” is not appropriate for ones cholesterol and this was something I would need to work on.    

She gave me a stern talking to about the need to be more active and eat better because I’m not as young as I used to be and me eating crap all the time is catching up with me.  So now I’m basically stuck eating rabbit food…like salads with vegetables and crap 5 days out of the week….suck.  After promising to find a tennis partner and limit my fast food intake on the weekends she let me go and said “have a good rest of your afternoon”…and as I was walking out of the room…just faintly under her breath… I’m pretty sure I heard her say “tubby”.

“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends”

– Anonymous

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~ by coreysays on January 26, 2010.

One Response to “Cholesterol Sucks…”

  1. Not sure if you like oatmeal but it is great for lowering your cholesterol. I tried it and it worked! Granted, mine wasn’t as high as yours….but hey, the bright side is you’re not on meds so it can’t be THAT bad…. right?……….right?

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